Government attempts to end Anaemia through new TV Show


In accordance with and in extension of his apology in the Parliament for the cartoon that appeared in NCERT textbooks, Union Minister for Human Resource Development Kapil Sibal, also apologized for cartoons on television and said action will be taken against cartoon shows provoking or trying to provoke violence or aggressive behaviour among the viewers. “These cartoons are crazy, whatever medium they are on. Just check out the thing they call “Tom and Jerry”, it would be more apt if they called it “Tom Vs Jerry” and billed it as a wrestling match so we can order it to be aired after 11pm”, suggested a Ministry spokesperson on condition of anonymity as he was not permitted to speak on matters regarding cartoons. “Moreover,” he added in a hushed up tone, “we are trying to find a way to characterise Tom and Jerry as members of lower and upper castes respectively so the entire series can be termed as an act of the upper castes to thwart attempts by the lower caste to catch up with them”.


Sources within various ministries expressed fears regarding potential lawsuits from television channels such as Pogo and Cartoon Network citing violation of the Right to Profession enshrined in the Constitution, an epic level document nobody seemed to bother about these days. “These people, Pogo, Cartoon Network etc, make a living out of err… showing cartoons in their networks. We will be asking them to shut shop, quite literally”, unnamed sources within the Ministry of Finance complained. Some even fear that the Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha channels could also, in theory, be shut down as they, more often than not, air “violent or violence provoking content”.


But Kapil Sibal is not a man to be deterred by such flimsy objections. Rumours suggest that the HRD Ministry is working on a concept for a new television program to replace such “violence-provoking” cartoons. Experts point to Sibal’s proven track record of using original and fresh ideas of Math to rival the calculations of the Comptroller and Auditor General and state that the 2G auction led to Zero Loss to the exchequer and that India was more liberal than US and Europe and also asserted that screening “Dirty Picture” and other such movies with “objectionable content” after 11pm as an attempt by the state to “not cut its own arms”.


Insiders predict that the new TV show will be called “Taste of Irony” and will feature videos and sound bites of the honourable Minister demolishing allegations and accusations levelled upon his government, through novel, innovative theories. The UPA can spin it off as a new scheme on its part to end the Anaemia menace among children in rural India through a regular dose of Kapil Sibal’s err… irony. The TV show is to be aired in the mornings at about the same time children are expected to have their breakfast so they can receive their daily dose of nutritional supplement in the form of an informative program that is expected to train their intellect and help them come up their own intriguing and intelligent ideas to explain why they did not complete their homework. Meanwhile, the UPA is expected to piggyback its ambitious food security programme on the back of this TV show and expects to make a glorious comeback in the 2014 elections through the committed and persistent efforts of Shri. Kapil Sibal.